Blood haze
by The Grinning Psychopath
Summary: heat, cold, love, hate, suffering and despair. its all the same to me. Jack meets with Jason for a little blood and comfort after the Horizon mission, his blood her comfort. my Jason, my special special boy, my Renegon, his tragedy.. my suffering.


_**Hey Stan, there's no need to feel down we said hey Stan!. our intentions are evil, we're here to kill S T A N here to kill S T A N. We are here to Rape and Kill you. HEY STAN are you listening to me! Fear not god anymoreee... cause you'll find him in my arms! was the music too loud for you to raw to be true.. ohhh little Angel... YEAHH! were Desires to DArkK for you i beg you now to.. watch the sky so bright... SEE ALL ITS LIIIIIIIGGGHHHT FADE! Tell me now how your wings got broken, tell me now how your spine got whip by leather, tell me now how your tongue got split, tell me all the things you need to tell to drift away... watch the sky so bright.. See all its Liiiiggghht FADE!**_

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><p><em><strong>Disclaimer i do not own Mass effect.<br>**_

_**Adrian Shepard, AKA Born in America immigrated to Moscow Russia when very young, parents died soon after. He lived on the streets, fought in pits against other people for money and ran with the Reds for several years. Due to betrayal and tragedy forced to flee change name to Shepard and erase all records of his former life.**_

_**Height: 6'0**_

_**Weight: 225 pounds.**_

_**Skin: very pale white.**_

_**Hair: straight, short, blood red with gold tints here and there, spiky, formerly dyed black.**_

_**Eyes: deep blue.**_

_**Face: rectangular, very handsome.**_

_**Build: athletic, muscles lean whipcord-like. **_

_**Personality type: Renegade/paragon. **_

_**Scars: between minimal and medium.**_

_**Facial hair: small beard thing between lips and chin.  
><strong>_

**Adrian POV.**

I beat away at the lifelike drone, fury and pain fueling my every strike. My opponent in the training room was human in appearance. Thanks to Cerberus pouring billions of credits into human advancement, at some point during my absence they had created androids whom only served one purpose…

To fight, they had no genuine human emotions, no wants or needs of their own other than to be repaired and fight but to never deliver a killing blow, they were covered in synthetic flesh and had synthetic blood pumping through their bodies and were it not for the fact that I was told before hand, I would have sworn I was fighting another real living breathing human being.

It felt pain, it breathed though it had no reason to, it panted like a human, it sweated, it cried out in reaction to pain and had all the same weak points as a human… disturbing, chill inducing, terrifying the stuff of nightmares. I beat at it with no mercy, no compassion in my soul.

I kicked and punched, clawed and spat, I did everything I could… and I was losing. There were 4 levels of fighter androids: lightweight, middleweight, heavyweight, and insane.

This one was insane: 6'4, chest like a sack of basketballs, arms thickly corded with muscle looking… well like basketballs were shoved down the top of each arm, legs similar, stomach like a brick wall, punch that could put a dent in steel if not tear right through it, weight around 360 pounds, hairless, quick, strong, brutal… just the way I like em.

Whereas I… I was middle weight. I'm only a little over average at 6 feet, and while I am athletic, muscular I'm not insane. My arms and legs may fairly bulge with muscle, but I'm no Arnold Schwarzeneggar, closer to Christian Bale. But while I'm not insane like this guy is least not physically I am skilled but more than that I'm talented.

I remembered my training under the Alliance officers and drill sergeants, they taught me how to fight, how to wound, how to incapacitate.

I ducked under his right arm and kicked down with almost all my strength and weight behind the strike down at his knee… the knee gave and the android cried out in pain, but that didn't stop him from delivering a roundhouse to my ribs making a loud cracklesnap sound echo out through the training room. The room was empty besides me and the thing which just made the sound all the more prominent along with my cry of agony as the pain flared up white hot in my side.

The thing grinned up at me with malicious glee, something it was programmed to do, to make the defeat of its enemies all the more bitter for them. Yes the Alliance taught me how to fight, but it never taught me how to kill… that I learned on my own in Moscow, from various people… myself, my brothers, the Reds… but mostly I had to thank Egon.

A tall, blond haired, brown eyed German, lean and athletic. He drank a disgusting cherry flavored energy drink, and he was arrogant and weasly as fuck but he knew how to do his job, he knew how to kill he was professional.

I stared hatefully at the grinning android who was already starting to get back up despite the muscles and ligaments I'd felt tear and separate beneath the flesh, cold dead eyes staring out at me, no true emotion behind them… just cold, calculating death… death.

His favored advice was… go for the eyes. I feinted for its eyes and it reflexively reached up with one arm to shield them and I grabbed it in both hands and broke it over my knee, I batted the other arm aside and plunged my fingers into those cold eyes and the android howled loud and anguished, before it shut itself down and fell over in mimed death.

I stood over the body, panting heavily, muscles burning, my side throbbing, my body thrumming with energy and rage, pain and hate, sorrow and disgust.

I heard a loud wolf whistle from one of the darker corners of the room and I looked up to see Jack walking in, "Real good Shepard, very nice. I wouldn't have thought they'd teach you that at the wussas academy." I spat a mouthful of bloody saliva down at the fallen drone, "They didn't, a man named Egon did, back on earth… before I turned what I learned from him against him and killed him myself."

Jack raised her eyebrows at that, "Do tell, why'd you kill him?"

I shrugged, "He was into slavery, but not just any slavery child slavery, and he didn't even need to be. He made more than enough money teaching people like me to fight, well not exactly like me he usually had more high income kids coming in to pay for his services, plus he had his job working as second in command of a large gang but I was special I had a gift…" I shook my head, "he saw me fighting in the pits one day, I took on 7 boys most larger and older than me almost at the exact same time. He thought he could use me, that he could train me to be his right hand."

Jack nodded, and I saw glints of anger in her dark hazel eyes, not at me… but more beside me, in sync with me. She knew what it was to be used and abused, to be trained and fucked with. "What did you do?" she asked, and then clarified. "How did you kill him?"

I shrugged, "When I found out what he did on the side which was about 6 weeks into training, I well I waited a while, I got the most I could out of his training till I had learned everything he could train me, some I payed for, some was for free, some… some I had to do things for." I shook my head at the memories and I saw the barest hint of sympathy in Jack's dark fiery hazel and gold speckled eyes.

"Anyway, grand total of 6 months of training under him, after I got all that I could get out of him, I killed him. I poisoned the drinks of all his accomplices and his, set the kids free and burned the warehouse and the vehicles they were using to transport the kids down to fucking ground. I also uncovered extremely secret files of his that showed that he was working behind his boss' back and not only that he was getting ready to thrust a dagger in it as well, he was working with a rival gang getting ready to do a hostile takeover of the boss' operation and he almost succeeded were it not for me."

I shook my head, smiling at the memories. "I never had so much satisfaction as the night I saw that look on his face and in his eyes as he took in all the bodies all the flames, all the kids running loose… and never felt so much terror as when his eyes locked on mine." my smile faded replaced with a haunted look. "He wasn't human, not really. He was psychopath, he didn't have real emotion not like you and me anyway, he was a shark among men, or a crocodile, or like this fuckin android here." I kicked out at the aforementioned fucking android and winced as the act sent shockwaves of pain up and down my leg.

"What did you do?" Jack asked pretending to ignore the faint whimper that escaped my lips, from the pain I was now experiencing. I shrugged, "What else I fought him, I used everything I ever learned against him, we fought it out for I dunno… 4 maybe 6 minutes… but eventually he had me on my back and I… well he was getting ready to kill me but he found it necessary to gloat before he did so, he shouted that it wasn't over that what I had done was just a temporary setback, that he would become head of the Reds… but I had the last laugh." I grinned slightly, "You see before I burned down his warehouse and set loose the kids, I sent the files I'd found directly to the leader of the Reds and I told Egon of this and he went crazy… and I killed him."

I shook my head, feeling a bittersweet smile come to my lips, "I couldn't have done it you know, in a fair fight he would have won, I was a prodigy but apparently so was he, we were two sides of the same coin, only difference his side was more tarnished than mine. If I hadn't had the for thought to poison his drink and well let him drink it I probably would have died. I tried fighting it out with him doing what I did to this guy," I nudged the android with the toe of my combat boot, "but no such luck, he beat me within an inch of my life, he had no real anger at me he had no anger at all he was a psychopath, every meaning of the world, no emotions, just like this android, just like a shark he was a cold efficient killer."

I glanced at Jack, "You ever see any old holovids of me, back before my resurrection?" she nodded, "Yeah, you were real kickass. A real legend, still are. Strange seeing you as a redhead now though." I chuckled, "Yeah, you know those scars I had on my face back then, the scar across my chin, my face and my temple? He gave me those before he succumbed to thee poison… little something to remember him by." I traced the places where the scars had once been, remembering the pain of that night, the indisputable agony in my body that said that I was fucked up bad and the only way to get worse was to die. "What did you do after that?" Jack asked, I glanced at her and shrugged, "Oh after that about a week later I got contacted by his boss, he offered me a place in the gang and I accepted. He put me right at the bottom and I quickly fought my way up to the top again, and became his new second in command." I shook my head ruefully, "Biggest mistake of my life, but I did it… I was second in command of the Reds… I didn't realize what a mistake it was till 3 years later when my I was betrayed, my sister died and I had to change my identity, my name, my birthplace, my own very fucking birthday."

Jack nodded, then frowned, "You changed your name?" I nodded, "Yeah, what you didn't really think my name was Shepard did you? Heh if I'd really been named that I don't think I would've escaped Moscow alive, shepherds are… well lets just say the people had a thing against men being around sheep all alone at night as it was without having names similar to the word for one who tends sheep."

I clenched my fists, in remembrance of the nights I spent in Moscow, fending for my life and my sister's, against men and women, children and old fucks who just couldn't keep their hands to themselves, always had to have something more. Not that I blamed them ever, I mean I did things similar things sometimes much worse to get what me and my sister wanted too. I growled.

"You still pumped for a fight, Shepard?" Jack asked amused, she leaned against a wall. Her athletic, lithe body glistened with a slight sweat from spending so much time around the engines which always tended to give off quite a bit of heat although it was kept within safe limits with coolant valves and other such things.

The way she carried herself, the way her muscles shifted under her skin, and her eyes were focused I knew she would be good for a fight among other things, that she would be really, really good, perhaps even better than the android. Not in combat though she was probably great at that too, but in releasing all this goddamned adrenaline and liquid rage I had pumped up to the fucking gills here. I needed something really living, something really breathing to take my frustration out on.

"You bet I am, bitch!" I grinned at her, feeling energy and nanotech quivering inside me. "You want to come and find out just how ready I am." She raised an eyebrow, "Nice, but I think you broke some ribs, it'd probably be better if we were to get you near if not to the infirmary before I kick the shit out of you for that-" she reached up with one hand towards my ribs and I grabbed that hand, pulled her towards me slammed her against a nearby wall and my for pressed against her neck, all in less than two seconds, I must be getting sloppy.

"I told you Jack, I'm ready for a fight. What those Collectors did, what their doing to colonists, its not right. Its obscene, its cowardly and its cruel. Paralyzing them, leaving them perfectly aware of what happens to them, leaving the aware of their surrounds of whats done to their friends, to their parents and grandparents, their CHILDREN!" I barked that last part into her face and bared my teeth at her in a feral snarl. "N-now I KNOW that you aren't responsible Jack, but… I failed those people down on that colony, failed them miserably, failed them just like I failed my sister a decade ago, and well fuck me if that doesn't grind my gears and make me want to strangle someone."

Jack struggled lightly against me, and leaned back as far as she could which wasn't an inch away from my forearm and then she stopped all of the sudden and a delighted feral glint entered her eyes and a smile spread across her face. "What?" I asked confused. "Real nice Shepard," she coughed, "pinning me against a wall like this, real cute… but you're forgetting one thing." I nodded an amused smirk crossing my face, "Ahuh and what's that?"

She grinned, "I'm 2 inches shorter than you." and with that she grabbed me… where I didn't want to be grabbed… least not by an enemy. I froze, and barked out a short laugh, "God Jack, you really are a force to be reckoned with."

She let out something approximating a giggle, "You know it bitch, now let go while you still have something we both enjoy." I let her go, which is more than could be said for her. The instant my arm was gone she twisted us around and shoved me into the wall, completely reversing our positions.

"Now, you still pumped for a fight?" she asked, excitement clear in her voice, making her body almost quiver. In answer I thrust into her hand and pressed my hard length of steel against her wrist and her pupils dilated with arousal.

"Good." she kissed me and I kissed her back, she was a great kisser with tremendous passion and a great fury of her own bubbling beneath the surface, powering her up, making her more battle ready than I'd probably ever be, battle ready for indeed… anything.

I grabbed her from behind and she growled, her hand rubbing against my pelvis, alternating between massaging and squeezing my cock and gonads.

I gripped her buttocks with force enough to bruise and in response she reached up with her free hand and dug her nails into my neck drawing blood.

She tore her mouth away from mine briefly to bark out one word, "Floor!" I wasted no time in getting us both down to the floor, to further continue this session of mad lust and rage gone out of control. We didn't even bother getting rid of all our clothes. Jack just untied the front of her combat fatigues and pulled them down to around her ankles while I just unzipped my pants and I thrust into her.

Neither of us wore any underwear, me because all Cerberus had thought to bring was plain white briefs which I did not wear because one they were white and 2 they were briefs and I'm a black boxer's man and Jack because… well who knows she probably didn't even own them.

Our coupling was as usual, quick, brutal and powerful. Her biotics making her eyes and hands spark and glow, her pelvis meeting mine stroke for stroke, our breath coming in quick pants. Didn't last much beyond 6 minutes, but it was powerful. My hands tight on her hips, her moans in my ear, my growls and her answering snarls the scent of musk and sweat and blood thick in the air. Lucifer rising but she had to be the greatest fuck I'd ever had, not the best lover but the greatest fuck there's a difference between a lover and fucker and she was definitely a fucker but as she came against me as she muffled her cry of rage, pleasure… and pain, in my neck biting into me viciously, I got the sense of potential in her potential in the both of us, to become something more in her that I briefly pondered even as I came inside her with a few more quick hard thrusts.

When we came to stop on the floor, our pants heavy, sweat thick and mixing with each other's, we just kept it like that. Her hands full shreds of the white and black Cerberus outfit I'd first woken up in, her nails still sunk deep into my flesh, me between her long naked athletic legs, my own nails dug into her legs, my face against her mostly bald head, her mouth still affixed to my neck though now it was more in a gentle caressing gesture than in one of animalistic need. I felt her tongue gently lapping at my neck, her lips gently moving over the tender flesh, not in kisses no that'd be too caring too gentle… but more in well I don't quite know, it was more catlike than human which I didn't mind honestly, it felt good.

"One of these days," I murmured pressing a small quick kiss to her scalp, "I'm going to get you into a proper bed to do this." Jack laughed breathily and I stood up, disengaging myself from her and pulling my pants up and doing up the front. "Not if I have anything to do with it Shepard, I like it like this, its more personal somehow don't you feel it?" she stretched out lazily, like a cat arching her back, still half naked. "That was way more honest than any sex you see in the movies, any sex you've ever had before. All feel, little blood and pain and suffering, no emotions, just completely physical, brutal even." she almost giggled, "That was real sex, better than I've ever had it before I think, not many people are like you Shepard." she looked up at me, a curious expression in those dark gold flecked eyes. "Why are you different?" I shrugged, "Don't know, oh and-" I paused looking down at her considering… and made up my mind, "its Jason, Jason Todd." she blinked, "What?"

"You remember when I told you I changed my name? well that's what I changed it from. Jason Adrian Todd, to a simple Adrian Shepard." I smiled, "You're the first person I've ever told that secret, even my old lover, Liara… I never told her, she was too… she couldn't know the real me, even after what we shared together I don't think she ever saw the real me if she did she would have cried would have shaken… would weeped for what we did together." I shook my head, and gave Jack a somewhat rueful look, "You… Jack… you're the only one whom I've felt trustworthy enough to let this close to me, its strange, you're strange, I like it."

I glanced down at her pants around her ankles, "You better pull your pants up, someone might come along and see you and I don't wanna think about all the blood to result from that." she smirked a self satisfactory smirk. "Why don't you come and pull them up for me lover?" I felt steel slide in place around my heart. "We're not lovers Jack, lovers have emotion for each other, like you said we're honest, heh we're animals Jack you and me, I'm just a bit more well disguised than you are a bit extra camouflage, we're fuckers, rutting animals that's it mostly." she looked up at me and nodded, "Good, I was afraid we were having a moment there." she smiled and I leaned down, yanked her up and pulled her pants up.

"Let's go, I think we could both benefit from Dr. Chakwas, at this point." I put a small kiss onto her full lips and she bit my lower lip with enough force to draw a little blood. She grinned at me, licking her lips. "Party's over Jason," she purred, and her nails made hard as rock by the experiments done on her, danced up my arm, leaving small cuts up and down my arm. "time to get on the move, Chakwas is waiting."

And with that we both turned and began walking towards the elevator, Jack doing up her pants as we went. And as we waited somewhat patiently for the elevator to arrive… I felt some of that steel melt around my heart. Despite what I'd said, Jack and I had shared something more back there, indeed something primal and animalistic obviously but… something more, something more evolved and sophisticated than that and I think we both knew it, but Jack needed to hear me say that it was nothing… for her own protection.

Maybe if this progressed a further, I could try to approach her emotionally and not just physically but that was a big maybe... a really big maybe.

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><p><strong><em>Hey Stan.. you're not pretty but your my kinda pretty.. Move it Monkey MAN give me some back and forth. more HIP! Keep it slippery keep it slippery. hahahahahaaaahaah. Lexx 791 Dance! <em>**

www.**youtube**.com/watch?v=RAUfJi8ijCo

**_I saw met god once, when i was seven years old.. *Grin* my mother was choking the life out of me, in one of her many crack induced bloodhazes.. and i got the pleasure of meeting Lucifer and then God.. did drugs with both of them, bunch of smack with Lucifer, bit of Oxy with God, heh got to experience the horrifying honor of blowing cocaine up God's lilly white little ass. hehehahahahaaah... and then i was about to get into 69 with Lucifer when dad tore mommy's claws away from my throat and breath was mine once more... pity, but hey least i got my eyes opened at last._**

**_for Lucifer sings when one is flicking his frenulum with one's tonsils. and i know the fate of the universe, i know the real bosses behind the curtain, i know the fate of the souls at the end of the universe and do you know what tha fate is... DEATH! complete and utter destruction via absorption into the great and terrible chasms of love and hatred which are the digestive systems of Heaven and Hell, Fire and Water, Kaos and Gluttony. maybe you won't understand now, maybe not later, but at the end at the very END at the end of everything, you will know... you will know the true meaning of Life... and that meaning is the be food for the ravenous maws of Pain and Suffering AKA Hate and Love. its pain to hate and its suffering to love. we are food, nothing more and the only ones who will be saved from the great hungerers will be those trapped in Purgatory, a hell in its own right, for within Purgatory lies only blackness, the blackness of Despair. enjoy your moments while you have them people cause they will not last!  
><em>**


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